i smell like garbage

YAY!

2008-11-06T14:59:00.002-06:00

i am proud and have been getting misty-eyed (if not downright sobbing) every five minutes for the past 48 hours.

the acceptance speech reminded me of FDR's inaugural address (my third favorite president)...
"Happiness lies not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort. The joy and moral stimulation of work no longer must be forgotten in the mad chase of evanescent profits. These dark days will be worth all they cost us if they teach us that our true destiny is not to be ministered unto but to minister to ourselves and to our fellow men.

Recognition of the falsity of material wealth as the standard of success goes hand in hand with the abandonment of the false belief that public office and high political position are to be valued only by the standards of pride of place and personal profit; and there must be an end to a conduct in banking and in business which too often has given to a sacred trust the likeness of callous and selfish wrongdoing. Small wonder that confidence languishes, for it thrives only on honesty, on honor, on the sacredness of obligations, on faithful protection, on unselfish performance; without them it cannot live.

Restoration calls, however, not for changes in ethics alone. This Nation asks for action, and action now."
- First Inaugural Address, Franklin D. Roosevelt

and, in conclusion, i am hoping to come into some large sum of money before january 20th so we can both (you and i) witness the inauguration in person.

hope tattoo, in the works.

p.s. facebook is the new blog.

CALLING OUT THE BAY AREA, L.A., D.C AND BEYOND!

2008-10-19T12:54:00.001-05:00

you must attend a screening of slingshot hip-hop. must. must. must. and then go to the DAM performance...

SMELL THE MAGIC

2008-09-22T10:47:00.001-05:00

tobi vail's riot grrrl resurgence with the JIGSAW UNDERGROUND.

2008-09-09T09:33:00.006-05:00

my roommates and new job are pleased to present...

SONGS THAT SHOULDN'T BE PLAYED IN AN ABORTION CLINIC

6. Stevie Wonder :: Isn't She Lovely?

5. Butterfly Kisses
4. Heart :: All I Wanna Do is Make Love To You

3. Madonna :: Papa Don't Preach

2. Eric Clapton :: Tears in Heaven

1. Paul Anka :: Havin' My Baby*

*the number one song is what sparked this list - it came on the radio as i was washing surgical equipment and i had to run across the room to turn it off. i couldn't figure out how the stereo worked so i just switched it to AM and got that terrible "ERRRRREEEERRRRRRRRRRRR" sound which was probably just as disturbing for the patients.

let me tell you what i got

2008-08-01T17:03:00.002-05:00

a reminder.

hot new fashions

2008-08-01T14:53:00.003-05:00

so, my good friend beth d - you may remember her from 1998's rockin' university of madison radio show 'the raging estrogen revolution' - gave me a stack of tapes to listen to on my moving drive to missouri. tapes, of course, of her radio show. these tapes, which feature a whole lotta scrawl, inspired me to think about what my radio show would sound like if i were a heart broken collegate student in 1998.

the result (with limited resources).

it could be home for you

2008-07-06T13:22:00.003-05:00

i moved to minneapolis and have yet to find a job.
i'm in total limerence with the city and its people.

########

dear universe:
please give me a job.
thank you for everything.
with the deepest love and respect,
b.

arsenic and old hoodies

2008-05-15T14:22:00.002-05:00

apparently the earth hates diy shit, just as much as it hates hummers, since arsenic has been found around where fort reno is held - you know, the really amazing summer dc punk concert series. donate, support, revitalize - though not until you donate to doctors without borders or madre. make sure you've got your priorities straight.

it's close.

2008-05-01T10:33:00.004-05:00

happy may day.

let's take a look at the headlines, shall we?

Agricultural Firms Post Record Quarterly Profits

The rise in food prices has been linked to several factors, including bad weather, the higher price of oil and the diversion of crops to produce biofuels for cars. The growing unrest over food security comes as major agricultural companies are posting record profits. This week, the grain-processing giant Archer Daniels Midland announced a 42 percent rise in third-quarter profits. Revenues from the distribution of grains including wheat and corn were up 700 percent. According to the Wall Street Journal, other major firms, including Monsanto, Deere and Mosaic, have all reported similar windfalls.

Shell & BP Report Record Profits

The oil giants Shell and BP reported making record profits in the first three months of the year. Shell earned $9 billion in the first quarter. BP’s income rose 63 percent to $7.6 billion.

i only have a vague idea of supply and demand and how capitalism really works (because it all seems like it's run by king friday in the land of make believe), but it don't take no genius to realize how inherently fucked up it is.

and, now, to uplift your spirits, just for fun....
THE FEMA CONCENTRATION GAME FOR KIDS.

i shit you not. that is the GOVERNMENT FUNDED FEMA SITE and those are pictures of disasters. IT IS WORTH IT TO DOWNLOAD THE PLUG-IN JUST FOR THE SHOCK VALUE.

I SHIT YOU NOT.

APRIL 2k8 - COVER LETTERS CAN SUCK MY LEFT ONE

2008-04-21T09:39:00.001-05:00

trying to get into the non-profit industrial complex.

RESULTS PENDING.

i promise, you give it to me, i'll give it to you

2008-03-30T15:06:00.002-05:00

does a mash-up of clarence carter's "patches" vs. bobbie gentry's "fancy" exist? if so, can you send it to me? if not, can you create it? if you need to add another "vs." in there, that would be okay.

deepfrymychevy AT gmail

SINBAD WILL CALL YOU ON YR SHIT!

2008-03-25T10:34:00.004-05:00

Sen. Clinton Admits She Misspoke about Bosnia Trip

In campaign news, Senator Hillary Clinton has admitted she misspoke when she claimed to have run across a tarmac to avoid sniper fire after landing in Bosnia as First Lady in 1996. Clinton gave a vivid description of the incident earlier this month claiming that she was sent to Bosnia because it was too dangerous for the President. Clinton was forced to admit she misspoke after CBS News showed footage of her casually walking across the tarmac with her daughter Chelsea. Clinton’s description of coming under sniper fire was first challenged by the comedian Sinbad who was also on the trip. Sinbad, who has endorsed Barack Obama, said the scariest part of the trip to Bosnia for him was wondering where the next meal would come from.

***please also note that it is infinitely hilarious to hear amy goodman reference sinbad and paraphrase his jokes.

i'm a human being damnit/my life has value

2008-03-24T18:11:00.006-05:00

re: erykah badu's new album

it's not going to sink in for another four years. at least.

fucking brilliant.

and how does she make everyone around her more brilliant, simply by proxy?

also - sa-ra.

i fucking LOVE the self-reference to yoko.

white people and their [fill in the blank]

2008-03-21T10:11:00.004-05:00

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/

ADDENDUM:
i am, like, five steps behind everyone in the "blogosphere." i realize that most everyone already knows about shit like the above, and the independent song, and dear, dear jens, and all the other crap. it's just way easier to post passe shit that i like than to, say, construct full coherent sentences and/or write bitter critiques of critiques.

she cook, she clean, never smell like onion rings

2008-03-20T14:23:00.002-05:00

my summer jam.

like i regret my regrets

2008-03-19T13:51:00.004-05:00

thank you, emmy, for providing my soundtrack to spring ought eight.

the brilliance of jens lekman has provided the world with the most astute articulation regarding shy people - most shy people i know are extremely boring or miserable from all the shit they keep inside. truer words, my friend, truer words...

i have to issue a public apology to emmy for not jumping on this the moment she mentioned him to me. sorry girl.

start your own band!

2008-03-18T15:03:00.002-05:00

i like it when a sxsw report tells the girlfriends to start their own band.

"it is harder to be kind than clever."

2008-03-18T10:50:00.002-05:00

sometimes when you are unnecessarily "mean" or you exaggerate your fed-up-ness because you think it will be funny,* sometimes after you do that, the universe will shame you in its special way (by waking up at 430 in the morning, missing your flight by 5 minutes, the airline losing your luggage forcing you to go to the last hurrah of the sxsw weekend clad a teeshirt with curly's face on it - as in the three stooges, eyes continently placed over the nipples, let alone the CURLY IS WEARING A CURLY SHIRT! pun).

but, still blessed, still lucky. one of my favorite people is making me coffee at this very moment, and matching tattoos are planned for the afternoon.

nothing but gratitude, dude.

*see below.

OH, COME ON!

2008-03-13T10:49:00.011-05:00

this is the worst fucking review i have ever read.

"In the Revolution short, an ejaculating penis is a recurring motif symbolizing rapture, and Gold's first single, "Street Jizz", similarly approaches orgasm and its byproducts as the (equally metaphoric and literal, no doubt) quintessence of experience, the "white light" that pierces the dark of night. Any revolution needs converts to succeed, though, and the song's chorus doubles as a recruitment slogan: 'It feels more dirty than it really is.'"

THE SONG IS ABOUT MIDDLE CLASS DUDES PAYING STREET DUDES FOR A BEEJ IN THE PARK. "I NEED SOME STREET JIZZ IN MY BOUGIE LIFE/IT FEELS MORE DIRTY THAN IT REALLY IS," BECAUSE OF CLASS + SEX + POWER POLITICS, ERIC.

ALSO, THE CHORUS IS "GEE WHIZ, STREET JIZZ." DO YOU REALLY NEED TO DESCRIBE THIS SONG WITH THE PHRASE "quintessence of experience"?

BLOW ME!

ANOTHER THING:
"mirrored in the album's butched-out cover image-- as a cartoonish, unambiguously bold amalgam of gay subcultural stereotypes..."

MY DEAR, AIN'T NOTHING BUTCH ABOUT THAT COVER! HANDLEBAR MUSTACHES DO NOT EQUAL BUTCH! I CAN SEE YOU TRIED REALLY HARD, AND MAYBE ASKED YOUR FRIEND WHO HAS A GAY FRIEND IF THE COVER HAD ANYTHING TO WITH GAY PEOPLE, SINCE, I MEAN, THE DUDE IS WEARING BLUE EYESHADOW, BUT, LIKE, SERIOUSLY? I CANNOT FORMULATE COMPLETE THOUGHTS BECAUSE I AM ASTOUNDED BY THE IGNORANCE AND BY WHAT APPEARS TO BE MAJ EGO.

BASED ON THE REVIEW ALONE, I WILL GO SO FAR AS TO SAY ERIC HARVEY IS A PRETENTIOUS CHODE. I WILL ALSO SAY HE IS AS QUEER AS THOMAS KINDCAIDE'S SHOELACE.

ADDENDUM:
PLEASE LIMIT ERIC HARVEY'S REVIEWS TO PAVEMENT RE-RELEASES AND HIRE THIS DUDE TO REVIEW FUTURE SSION RELEASES.

"beating the dead horse to death. again. "

2008-03-08T10:07:00.004-06:00

i am so sick of seeing people wear nike-owned converse and the resurgence of nike as some kind of early-mid 90's throwback to cool.

remember how people wore kentucky-born chuck taylors because they were affordable AND/OR because nikes were (and still are) made in sweatshops?

also, i realize indie is a dead term (RIP 2001), but seriously, there is nothing indie about nike.

addendum

2008-03-04T14:23:00.001-06:00

ssion makes all the hipstered out queers of san francisco look understated and passe.
long live missouri!

WE'VE GOT IT MADE!

2008-02-28T11:00:00.003-06:00

TRUE/FALSE HAS DESCENDED, Y'ALL! yet another reason to make the trip to como, apart from the fab documentaries, best parties around (WITH OPEN BARZ FOR YOU WHO LIKE AGED GRAIN), and obscenely attractive people: SSION IS PLAYING ON SATURDAY AT MOGOS-A-GO-GO! 8 DOLLARS!

so cold! so cold! an infinity of cold!

2008-02-21T11:24:00.006-06:00

when the high is no longer 17-feels-like-2, and we can sit on the porch and watch a lunar eclipse without running commentary of where one can purchase long underwear, we will haul out the extension cords and set up the broken boombox and listen to lemuria.

didja hear?

2008-02-20T10:38:00.002-06:00

busy signals! hard skin! LEATHERFACE! and a LOS CRUDOS REUNION at CHAOS IN TEJAS!

question: why is everything in tejas?
question: why is bocomo not in tejas?
quesiton: why is the fifteen year old that lives inside my forearm so excited?

BARACK OBAMA GOT SCHWASTED AND DEDICATED A JAMES TAYLOR SONG TO ME AT KARAOKE LAST NIGHT

2008-02-15T12:01:00.005-06:00

BARACK OBAMA SANDED DOWN YOUR CORNS AND COVERED YOUR FEET WITH ROSE PETALS.

this could be heaven or this could be hell

2008-02-12T10:37:00.000-06:00

new york times on facebook:
“It’s like the Hotel California,” said Nipon Das, 34, a director at a biotechnology consulting firm in Manhattan, who tried unsuccessfully to delete his account this fall. “You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.”

re: the actual article - just another example of why i maintain that myspace is the proletariat of social networking sites.

telegram to the new territories!

2008-02-01T09:35:00.000-06:00

people STOP you may have seen a slightly disturbing letter to britney spears on this blog last night STOP please ignore STOP it is part of an on-going fictitious project STOP do not be alarmed STOP seriously STOP

toot toot!

2008-01-30T22:30:00.001-06:00

as if you needed any incentive to attend the best documentary, NAY! the best FILM festival around, mucca pazza, fabled thirty piece circus-punk marching band outta chi-boogie, will be making yet another appearance in columbia at the true/false film fest.

"i'm a fuckin' drug dealing hooker! you children don't impress me!"

2008-01-29T12:56:00.000-06:00

kirk read is fucking funny. he is my new favorite storyteller. if you can, catch him (and the other fucking amazing artists) on the sex workers art tour. so good, dudes. so so freaking good.

purge the trifiling fools yet remain compassionate and create community

2008-01-25T16:01:00.000-06:00

the thematics for 200GR8.

what are yours? i wrote my themes down in my slingshot (color: bike rack) and then all my '08 goals, life goals and tattoo ideas. and banner ideas. and vastly differing business ventures i sometimes dream about, i.e. opening my own chili parlor, publishing house and/or banner themed bookstore that would double/triple as a venue/art gallery/community space which would offer classes on a sliding scale. imagining the combination of all three took up a few hours on the plane....

junior, did you get the bag?

2008-01-25T13:17:00.001-06:00

i've been meaning to talk about gamine thief for a while now, but the lady who coined the term "the [britney] spears trama industry" beat me to it. and, oh hey, will you be at gaybigaygay? i hear all the cool kids will. and by "cool kids" i mean gamine thief and their queer brethren...
also, thanks to lizzerz the blizzerd for ghostlady. cadallaca doppelgangers are all i ever crave, 'cause if you come to co,mo and yell "kissy," you'll see me slowing driving past you in an suv, checkin' you out to make sure you're legit....

aw baby.

2008-01-24T13:03:00.000-06:00

i'm generally against "i can make you scream/i'm better than a krispy kreme," which is why i'm not going to tell you to listen to "magic window," but instead "hundredaire" by hey willpower. it's like the cure's "close to me" only i'd actually request it at the club.

"you must change your life."

2008-01-21T20:49:00.001-06:00

san francisco is dreamy.

new tattoo, to procure once i pay off this credit card trip: woodcut interpretation of the quote: "my barn having burned to the ground, i can now see the moon."

i can't remember if i read it in a book about acupuncture or on a tea bag.

"we've got nothing to say."

2008-01-11T10:52:00.001-06:00

just....read the transcript.

.....

i have nothing more to say.

bad taste

2008-01-10T15:53:00.001-06:00

after watching sweeney todd, i ate a shepard's pie.

after watching lake of fire, i ate an egg sandwich.

hey, man. after all the tragedy i've been consuming lately (in terms of art, that is; my life is actually trag-free right now), i've gotta have some kind of humor about the whole thing.

i start out the year out with kind of a downer (see: year of magical thinking, 06; children of men, 07; the road, 08), cause it makes the rest of the year really uplifting.

yessir, i do believe miss emmabelle loves jimmy taylor as much as i

2007-12-27T15:25:00.000-06:00

one simple wish for 2008: that logan will update everyday.

you always knew me - i was never a roller skater

2007-12-25T01:49:00.000-06:00

best shit since last x-mas eve:
1. my birthday week and a half. it didn't just stop at a day, or a week - it just kept coming! 25 is gar-un-teed to be phenom, based on birthday alone.
1.5. the joint-feminist themed birthday party, in which everyone had to dress up as, or a combination of: a crayon, cowboy, and/or candy. themed parties = the best.
2. bff in tx changing her entire life and becoming, hands down, the happiest person i know = most inspirational thing of 2007.
3. "homegrown," bell hooks and amalia mesa-bains.
4. the day jess and i participated in a scavenger hunt. 2008 needs to have lots of scavenger hunts.
5. tea.
6. the 'rents. it was a rough year, but a good year. i think the three of us really benefited, even though parts of it were real hard.
7. the absolute perfect summer in columbia day which included such things as walking to the farmers market with bp, talking to some older women about plants on the walk home, watching shrub and pattycake weed the yard in overalls and bun shorts while we made tacos, walking over to the party-people's house for a night of talking and laughing on the porch. absolutely perfect.
8. the circle of friends! not like that fatphobic chris o'donnell movie from the mid-nineties, but the real circle of friends, which includes you, cupcakeface.
9. the day my doctor friend became a doctor and we went to karaoke and the night ended with her dancing on a mini-stage, fabulous as ever, surrounded by underage goth girls (seriously, there are pictures y'all) and her, doctorially, saying,"yeah! i'm 30! i'm a doctor, y'all!"
10. my bed. clarence bless a new mattress.
11. finding out about good people doing good deeds when they think it's a secret but you know about it and are just waiting for the moment to repay them, secretly.

FAVORITE MOVIES ABOUT DECEMBER 24 AND 25 THAT I HAVE WATCHED IN THE PAST 48 HOURS:
1. muppet family christmas - 1988. vhs, complete with commercials. nothing beats nostalgia through advertising.
2. a charlie brown christmas - 1965. charlie brown dances make me so happy (on the longer list of best shit in 2007 - at gaybigaygay the people replicating charlie brown dances = greatest dance performance of 2007).

i'm totally sick for the first time in what feels like forever, and i've doubled up on the nyquil and it hasn't done shit, y'all. i should have been knocked out four hours ago. we're gonna triple it and hope it works, so's i can sleep until we go see sweeney todd. or charlie wilson's war. i wonder how many 25ths i've spent with tom hanks....he's like my somewhat creepy and annoying uncle at this point.

HAHAHA

2007-12-21T10:12:00.000-06:00

mick hucknall. don henley. bruce jenner.

http://menwholooklikeoldlesbians.blogspot.com/

thanks bd.

the year of the comma!

2007-12-20T15:10:00.000-06:00

so, i'm not into best. or rankings. or hierarchies. i am interested in remembering what i was interested in this year, which includes some shit i didn't really like, but found provoking enough to talk about incessantly. i'm also no longer interested in listening to a little bit of a bunch of different stuff, so much as finding something really good and listening to it so that i bring something new away each time - AKA JUSTICE can blow me (the band; i still very much care about the social construct, so much so, that it will, someday, be tattooed on my forearm).

electrelane :: no shouts, no calls
this is the most overlooked and unappreciated album of the year, and i'm not saying that just 'cause i had a real intimate relationship with it for a month (or six). you can listen to the entire album over and over and over and still be completely heartbroken in a completely new way, every single time. when i think of 2007, i will think of electrelane and how no one appreciated them to their full extent until they went on "indefinite hiatus." and then i will say to that person, that person who will say, a year, two years, five years, twenty years, somewhere down the line, a person will say to me, "no shouts, no calls was really one of the greatest albums to come out in 2007, let alone the early oughts." and i will say unto them,"I KNEW THAT THE FIRST TIME I LISTENED TO IT AND NONE OF Y'ALL BELIEVED ME. SUCK ON THIS HATERS!"

no age :: weirdo rippers
i found out about no age by reading/looking at pictures of what may be my/our generation's most engrossing reality based young and the restless, only a little poorer and with better clothes. shit's addictive, son. anyway, just like how electrelane breaks my heart in a new way every time i listen to no shouts, weirdo rippers becomes prettier, in a different way, each time. i cannot come up with any other adjective: within the big noise, there are some really pretty parts.

the shondes
they didn't technically have an album out in '07 (but i was given their forthcoming - THE RED SEA - last night, which you better purchase when it's officially released in january or our friendship is off), but i went to the lou TWICE to see them, knowing full well that i would be completely crazy the next day from exhaustion, but i knew it would be worth every delirious moment. and it was. they've got a real posi vibe going on, despite the complicated and, at times, depressing, subject matter (which, also, at times, makes me want to just go up to them and say,"pumpkinhead, it's gonna be okay," even though i realize they're all incredibly self-aware people). my point is: they expand, complicate and explode The Conversation, and isn't that what we're needing, NAY, longing to hear?

jenny hoyston :: isle of
send the angels. that's all i'm going to say.

i talked about scream club and all of white queer "hip-hop" possibly being problematic a whole lot. the thermals album was pretty great, considering how much i love a concept album, and a dystopian right wing government lording over the us was pretty easy to imagine. broooce (magic really was good, and i don't care if it was nominated for a corporate jerkoff award). feist was nice.

alright, this is boring. i'm gonna go make a potato.

the shondes are to sleater-kinney as bikini kill is to the plasmatics

2007-12-20T10:45:00.000-06:00

things i learned at the shondes show, including both pre- and post- show:

- the future of VFW halls is the bluebird. in 30 years, all vfw halls will have video games, indie-looking bird artwork, dumpstered couches and coolers filled with red bull. they will, of course, maintain the sprawling linoleum and low ceilings with florescent lighting, as i think this will be a comfort to senior hipsters everywhere.
- i cannot judge the distance between columbia and st.louis accurately. this resulted in showing up two and a half hours early. i spent the majority of the time standing outside the venue, sipping a coke. this was only after i got bored with putting on my makeup in the car, with the fantastic lighting that is known as "dome."
- i need to have the foresight to bring a book whenever there is the possibility of waiting more than 15 minutes for shit to begin.
- out of fear of being seen as a creepy superfan AKA "that girl" who shows up to the wednesday night show two and a half hours early, the show which has no prospect of selling out (it's st.louis, it's five days until xmas in the bible belt, etc. etc.), i decided against interacting with anyone, and instead became the person who decides text messaging people and having a stank look on her face is the best way to knock down any notions of superfan-ness. reflecting upon this decision, i don't think i could have mustered much energy to do anything else. so, bexxy of december 19th, 2007, forget about the 1AM shame spiral on I-70 - the stank was a good call.
- despite having gone to, literally, hundreds of shows, i still cannot grasp the fact that when it says "doors at 8," that really means closer to 9, and "show at 9" means "show at 10:30." i will never stop hating that. as a person who believes in punctuality for planned events, it will never not annoy me profusely (casual events like, say, a lunch date with a friend made the night before, are not subject to the ridged punctuality and the 15 minutes early rule of planned events)(yes, this situation calls for both a double negative AND two consecutive parenthesized thoughts).
- my first instinct, when a bartender winks and says "what'll it be baby?," is to punch him in the ear.
- the shondes are sweethearts. and put on a wonderful show. and are probably one of 4 bands that i feel as though i can really support and get behind and still maintain excitement about, since i see them expanding music and politics, and reviving a kind of musical-political passion that already exists but has been dormant.
- i'm only interested in bands whose members are pumpkinhead sweethearts.
- to stay awake and entertain myself, i like to create journal entries and emails while alone in the car at 2 in the morning. and by "create" i mean compose them outloud and wish i had a tape recorder.
- st.louis loves the apple bottom jeans song. a lot. 13 times in 4 hours, a lot.

we deserve the very best

2007-12-04T11:52:00.000-06:00

oh, hi!
remember how i didn't post anything for, like, a month cause i got busy and the internets were not readily available to me so i would just m'space it up and occasionally get on the g-chat?

so many things have happened!

i am now twenty-five, and, therefore, finally respectable.
birthday week consisted of a joint b'day party with the goodest person in the entire world, surrounded by the goodest friends in the entire world who MADE A CAKE IN THE SHAPE OF THE FEMINIST FIST! angel food, with homemade whipped cream and covered in strawberries, blueberries and raspberries, which my fellow sagittarian and i shoved in each others face, all wedding style. this week also brought my bff from tx, the pet portraitist and quilting connoisseur, and i'd be lyin' if i said she didn't have the best time evs. i'd be lyin' if i said it wasn't the best birthday week ever.

it's truly an amazing feeling to realize that you're part of an incredibly close, positive community - and that those who experience it are floored by the fact that, yes, virginia, it does exist. it's hard to realize what you've been blessed with, until it is reflected back at you, which it was throughout the weekend, but, specifically, twice. once, in the form of emmy questioning why i would ever want to move away, as well as an assertion from some kids around town that my people are the "closest, i mean, really tight" friendship group in mid-mo. and even though some real important people have moved away in the past year or so, they're still very present and their energy permeates throughout the group.

in spite of all the uncertainty during these past few years here in columbia, i can honestly say that since these people came into my life, that while things may have felt temporary, the people have always felt permanent.

unconditional love can exist outside a parent-child relationship.
unconditional love can exist outside of a romantic relationship.

i know you don't want to believe it, and that it is hard to believe, i mean, really and truly believe. you can say it, but can you allow yourself to give it? can you accept it?

do you get sick of these posts about love and friendship and community? they are all consuming parts of my mind and self, and i just want to share it so badly with you.

at twenty-five, i feel like i can say i finally know more, and mean it.
i'm gonna run with it.

"what's it sound like?" - "like kill rock stars - but not rock stars kill, or rock kills stars."

2007-11-09T12:13:00.000-06:00

fierce perm is not just a band name reflecting my deepest childhood desire for straight hair so i could have a spiral perm (there is no logic within my heart).

also, these days, anything that isn't some white queer rapping/performing hip-hop/dance pop music, automatically piques my interest and a post on this place. but, as you can see, the market has been flooded with pasty kids who put together rhymes on their refrigerator.

i'd like to take a crap on the metaphorical face of columbia

2007-10-25T12:03:00.000-05:00

dear columbia,
i do not know why you are filled with so many haters, yet you are. i do not know why you do not show up to any interesting/awesome/rad events (university sponsored or no), and yet you cream your pants when the dave matthews cover band "crowded streets" comes into town. i dislike that everything hinges on WILL THE COLLEGE STUDENTS COME? WE LOVE THOSE CORN-FED HONKIES! hey, corn-fed honky twenty year olds - why not come out to something that isn't your brotastic dude friend's crappy band?
blow me,
smellz

all that glitters is gold

2007-10-22T14:40:00.000-05:00

runnin' with it. embly is one of my favorite writers of all time ('cause she's also got one of my favorite minds of all time) and i'm blessed to call her one of my best friends.

she glitters.

truly blessed (not lucky)

2007-10-20T17:34:00.000-05:00

my favorite thing ever written, that just happens to be on the internet; it is no exaggeration that it is my favorite - number one on the hierarchies i keep trying to diminish. pieces float through my head more often than not, and as i did the dishes earlier today in a sack of sad, the feast of family-friends bubbled up in my head so that i nearly cried.

things have been hard in the household that smells like garbage, financially speaking, and sometimes it is hard to see beyond the dollar signs and boxes of mac and cheese to the love that fills our hearts. gifts of pizza bought over the internet and unicorn shirts; gifts of wheat wonderbread and wine; free videos and bummed cigarettes; letters in the mail written on florescent paper; phone calls and thoughts; the kindest emails with leads to jobs of our dreams; love and support around every corner.

so, you know, obvs i'm talking about you and, y'know, i love you.
or whatever.

the sweetest most underrated musician alive today

2007-10-19T13:50:00.000-05:00

jenny hoyston.

and isle of is truly great. truly.

fugly fuglies! OR eff a bunch of heterosexism

2007-10-18T12:26:00.000-05:00

brought to my attention by hopz and yahoo featured headlines, it has been "scientifically proven" that feminists have healthier, sexually fulfilling relationships - but only when these feminists are women in straight relationships with men. this study illuminates that feminists (who are, in this study, cisgendered women who identify as feminists) defy all the stereotypes of feminists as "ugly lesbians" - because we all know the only thing worse than a lesbian, is a lesbian who wants to end the white supremist capitalist patriarchy, and the only thing worse than that (and it's hard to get worse than that!), is a lesbian a dude can't jerk off to. bryner, the wonderful writer who obviously has no bias in this matter, pushes her point further later in the report by dropping the "lesbian" entirely when she says, "along with the sexually unattractive stereotype," which, when you read between the lines (or just use basic reading comprehension skills), you realize that she's really saying that lesbians, not just the "ugly" ones, are sexually unattractive.

unless, of course, you're a lesbian - then i suppose you can take your fugly selves and go live on some kind of sapphic commune. hay as tolietpaper, anyone?

initially i was excited by the headline, until i realized it left out so many realities, came a step short of out-and-out gay bashing and made sure that i shouldn't worry - since i'm a feminist men might even find me attractive (because of or in spite of, it is never really clear). it's just too bad that i don't need that validation.* nor do you my friend! you can like cisgendered dick and still maintain your own sense of self worth not based around the male gaze. promise promise promise!!!

*since i'll be on the commune milking the cow and working on a good beat for the drum circle.

now they'll never be friends

2007-10-12T15:26:00.000-05:00

man, god bless kb for introducing the coathangers into my life. they sound like the squealing girls that used to be in ssion circa opportunity bless my soul and they're fucking hilarious. note the italics.

seven month plan

2007-10-05T14:54:00.000-05:00

favorite rumor i've heard about myself this week, from multiple people: i've moved to chicago because i'm "never around."

well folks, it's not that i've moved, but am watching wheel and spend a lot of time scheming. scheming in a positive sense, not a rob-your-house sense.

doctor doctor...gimme the news!

2007-10-03T11:50:00.000-05:00

less than an hour ago, a unicorn friend defended her dissertation, and is now Dr. Unicorn. Dr. Unicorn is (obviously)brilliant and can talk (non)gendered circles around you and yours.

the summer of prancing unicorns (engaging in food fights) is now complete.

propositioning

2007-09-27T15:30:00.000-05:00

one of the co-founders of my favoritest place in town, ragtag, is part of the heeb100. others: temim fruchter of the shondes, electrelane's verity susman, the infamous emily rems, chicks on speed's a.l. steinerand and everyone's favorite bitchy dance instructor - brian friedman.

(more) police violence against queer and trans folks in nyc

2007-09-27T11:37:00.000-05:00

PLEASE FORWARD WIDELY

At the Sylvia Rivera Law Project’s after-party following its fifth
anniversary celebration last night, two members of the community were
violently arrested and others were pepper sprayed by police without
warning or cause. The two folks who were arrested remain in police
custody and should be arraigned tomorrow. (More details of the
incident can be found below in the press release.)

We ask that people show up tomorrow, Thursday, starting at 9:30am and
continuing throughout the day to call for the immediate release of and
the dropping of charges against the people who were arrested. The
arraignment court rooms are at 100 Centre St (Directions: No. 4 or 5
train to Brooklyn Bridge Station; No. 6 train, N, R or C train to
Canal Street; No. 1 train to Franklin Street; M1, M6 and M15 bus lines
are nearby. 100 Centre Street is one block north of Worth Street,
three blocks south of Canal Street.) Ask for directions to the
arraignment rooms at the info desk when you enter.

For more information or to receive updates via email or text message,
contact Jack (post comments on this blog).

PRESS RELEASE:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Police Brutality Strikes Fifth Anniversary of Sylvia Rivera Law Project

NEW YORK - On the night of Wednesday, September 26, officers from the
9th Precinct of the New York Police Department attacked without
provocation members of the Sylvia Rivera Law Project and of its
community. Two of our community members were violently arrested, and
others were pepper sprayed in the face without warning or cause.

The Sylvia Rivera Law Project (www.srlp.org) is an organization that
works on behalf of low-income people of color who are transgender,
gender non-conforming, or intersex, providing free legal services and
advocacy among many other initiatives. On Wednesday night, the Sylvia
Rivera Law Project was celebrating its fifth anniversary with a
celebration and fundraising event at a bar in the East Village.

A group of our community members, consisting largely of queer and
transgender people of color, witnessed two officers attempting to
detain a young Black man outside of the bar. Several of our community
members asked the officers why they were making the arrest and using
excessive force. Despite the fact that our community was on the
sidewalk, gathered peacefully and not obstructing foot traffic, the
NYPD chose to forcefully grab two people and arrested them. Without
warning, an officer then sprayed pepper spray across the group in a
wide arc, temporarily blinding many and causing vomiting and intense
pain.

“This is the sort of all-too-common police violence and overreaction
towards people of color that happens all the time,” said Dean Spade,
founder of the Sylvia Rivera Law Project. “It’s ironic that we were
celebrating the work of an organization that specifically opposes
state violence against marginalized communities, and we experienced a
police attack at our celebration.”

“We are outraged, and demand that our community members be released
and the police be held accountable for unnecessary use of excessive
force and falsely arresting people,” Spade continued.

Damaris Reyes is executive director of GOLES, an organization working
to preserve the Lower East Side. She commented, “I’m extremely
concerned and disappointed by the 9th Precinct’s response to the
situation and how it escalated into violence. This kind of aggressive
behavior doesn’t do them any good in community-police relations.”

Supporters will be gathering at 100 Centre Street tomorrow, where the
two community members will be arraigned. The community calls for
charges to be dropped and to demand the immediate release of those
arrested.

- END -

bears eat beets

2007-09-22T11:41:00.000-05:00

question: is girltalk way more popular in the mainstream than i thought? sold out november shows in both columbia and st.louis, and have been sold out since august. seriously?

...

can you get me a ticket?

.

2007-08-31T16:41:00.000-05:00

the best stuff i've read (which is actually the worst, and most heartbreaking) and heard about katrina, two years later (two days later, really), is, no surprises, from democracy now.

bend it like dylan

2007-08-30T16:44:00.000-05:00

so much to be said about this but i'm leaving work, but maybe lizzerz can do it, cate as bob!

as it comes to a close

2007-08-28T10:09:00.000-05:00

summer's what you make it.

thank you tomato

2007-08-23T16:35:00.001-05:00

my dinosaur-centric article on the screaming females is up over at independent weekly.

this just is

2007-08-17T14:53:00.000-05:00

NOTES ON SCREAMING FEMALES
- their name in and and of itself is a radical notion in misogynistic rock music/society as there are few things worse than to be a "screaming female." beats 'em to the one-two-punch.
- gratuitous guitar solos are almost inherently masculine, and marissa takes them back for herself. one-two-three, reclaim!
- so youthful.
- incomparable. like, wanna say the wipers and wanna say riot grrrl and wanna say innumerable comparisons but they just come up so. very. short.
- marissa is musical jesus come to create a whole new status quo that will destroy the term status quo.

and, p.s., i feel like my brain pulled a giant deuce all over my pretty dress.

venipuncture

2007-08-09T15:08:00.000-05:00

my friends! my unicorns! gather 'round, old ones!

much has changed in this summer of prancing unicorns (engaging in foodfights).
where do we begin?

we shall first begin with the unicorn who traveled to another land, a mystical land filled with rainbows and shiny starz, and is living in a rent controlled field of clovers while providing the world with support and nourishment. we miss this unicorn very much, but the majestic prancing of said unicorn makes our hearts swell with joy because: DREAMS REALLY DO COME TRUE!

then, there is the unicorn on the flying trapeze! if you want to join the circus, it is not too late, it is never too late, my dear friends. you can join the circus. you can walk on stilts. you can push your body to limits you never dreamed of and then you can eat fire for breakfast! this unicorn has taught us that when you are a unicorn you can LIVE ON LESS and DREAMS REALLY DO COME TRUE!

and there is the unicorn in tejas who would dread waking up on monday mornings, until she realized that she deserved mountains made of kisses and candy. she is doing incredibly exciting work, including portraits of your pets and the most exciting book pitch ever in the history of known unicorn time. seriously, when you see this unicorn interviewed on fuckin' leno, you're going to be like "shucks, why didn't i think of that?" that's because this unicorn has realized that if you BELIEVE...DREAMS REALLY DO COME TRUE!

finally, we're going to talk about this unicorn (my front hooves are pointing towards my head). this unicorn had a rough go towards the beginning of the summer of prancing, but has realized that FAMILY-FRIENDS will get you outta any evil forest you my find yourself in. and that, with the first job interview in over a year...dreams....they just might come true after all...

all my friends are goats

2007-07-28T20:13:00.000-05:00

all my friends really are goats. it's a fact!

you know what else is a fact? the following:

"Columbite-tantalite, or coltan, essential for the manufacture of cellphones and video game systems, is mined in the Democratic Republic of Congo. After stripping the forest from the land, the underpaid mineworkers are encouraged to eat "bush meat" to survive while they work." - robert peet, just seeds

did you know this? i had no idea! but furthers my stance on not getting a new cellular telephone even if the one i have is from 1996 and drops calls like i drop, pop and lock it. actually, my cellular device is a mere two years old, born august 2005, and it is my first, and possibly last, cellular phone. i just lied. it will not be my last, but i will try to hang onto it for at least one or two more years until it turns to dust in my hands.

david lee roth meets blake schwarzenbach and joan jett in dolores park at two in the morning

2007-07-20T16:42:00.000-05:00

currently taking suggestions for a california-centric mixtape. i'm not so much interested in the bands being from california, as i am in the song titles and/or (especially) subject matter being cali-centric, particularly the bay area.

note: sonic youth's "pacific coast highway" is a little too menacing for what we're trying to do here.

the dog i have been watching has killed two small mammals

2007-07-08T14:08:00.000-05:00

when i'm not laying on someone's bed, in a house i don't live in, listening to the new electrelane and wallowing, which, if you were wondering, i am doing 80% of the time, the other 20%, of course, is spent processing upcoming friends moves, fretting about money and attending barbecues, the "tunes," as the kids say, have been the new bloods and will be screaming females (the latter courtesy andybot, III).

i enjoy a run-on sentence, filled with the improper use of the comma.

the jello salads are afoot!

2007-07-03T11:11:00.000-05:00

the white hot brilliance of sparked notes.

money, martin sheen and ice cream

2007-06-28T16:32:00.000-05:00

- still housesitting. i would like to become a professional housesitter. is this possible?
- still broke. realized three weeks ago that working one job is futile, and yet, i have made very few steps to making the desired second job a reality.
- signed a new lease. i feel real weird about it: it's cheap, it's nice, it has everything we need, and yet, i keep replaying the "i want to rent to you. you'll keep my property value up" comment and the "dear"s and "baby"s and the whole thing makes me feel real pukey in the back of my throat. oh, white privilege, racism and sexism, what won't you do?
- obsessed with "the west wing." for years, i have scorned those who touted its greatness, and to them i say,"it's problematic and loves a racist stereotype, but i did not know that it would be so compelling. forgive my mockery, i beg of you."

still the funniest blog evs.

returning and retrograding

2007-06-28T12:21:00.000-05:00

do you think your return of saturn is like your period? like, you know how if you hang out with your girls long enough, you'll all go on the rag at the same time? well, if all your friends' saturns are returning super hard, does that mean yours will too even though it's still a few years off? maybe a little bit?

to the four people who glimpse at this thing

2007-06-21T16:28:00.000-05:00

you know how i only like two bands based out of bocomo? well! you are in luck! one of them is going on tour to YOUR torn up town!

shirrelle c. limes and the lemons. the kick off is tonight and there will be hot dogs!

if i wasn't such a broke ass scrub, i would be accompanying her on ye olde tour de june'n'july.

if you go see her and she fucks up real bad, then this post will be deleted and i will say "shirrelle who?" because i am gutless. like a hot dog.

p.s. thanks for the mousey well wishes! even though i will have spent but one night in my house by the end of the month and will not be returning until july 23, the mices seem to have taken a permanent poison filled vay-cay. yaaaay!

p.p.s. have you seen stella? apart from some real unfunny domestic violence jokes, shit is realllll funny.

June07: Can I Sleep On Yr Couch? OR Yes, All My Belongings Are In My Car, So, Yes, I Am Essentially Living Out Of My Car Due To Infestation Problems

2007-06-11T20:10:00.000-05:00

i guess the subject really says it all.

oh mouse girl, you can rely on mouse trap money

2007-06-05T12:17:00.000-05:00

oh summer!

last night i had a dream that i moved to LA for the sole purpose of catching this specific soiled mattress and the springs show.

i woke up disappointed on jessica's fold out couch, as i have for the past week or so, ever since my new roommates made themselves at home. and by "new roommates" i mean the 40 or so mice living in our walls. and oven. and dryer. and couch. possibly my box springs. the entire counter is covered in shit.

they're fearless.

i've caught them sitting behind the coffee maker, mocking me.

if you'd like to come over and sage my house or whatever the fuck you do to get rid of mice, just shoot me an email and we'll work something out. at this moment i can give you a mason jar filled with change, a denim skirt and the lamp i made in seventh grade shop.

bloody red prison/dark chocolate salvation

2007-05-31T12:51:00.000-05:00

oh, for the love of cheese and rice, would you just check out tara jepsen and jenny hoyston's new project, LESBIANS?

i am now thoroughly convinced that tara jepsen is the funniest person alive.*

*"Utilizing the vagina-opening breaststroke, Mitzi glides by the couple and captures some escapee sperm. "

mouse feces

2007-05-29T22:44:00.000-05:00

this sizist fucking fucked up bullshit is EXACTLY why the post below on beth ditto totally naked on a magazine cover matters so fucking much.

petunia

2007-05-29T14:01:00.000-05:00

nekkid beth ditto complete with armpit hair.

if it's not armpit hair, it's a shadow that can be interpreted as armpit hair, so, 'tevs, same diff.

i say it over and over again (and what am i if not repetitive?) and i will say it yet again: she is the only reflection of myself in popular culture and for that she gets a giant piece of my heart.

goddamn does it feel good to see all of it out there, everywhere.

lizzie can get you to talk about your fear of bottled water

2007-05-24T16:57:00.000-05:00

did i ever tell you about the one where l-dizzy got electrelane to admit their album name inspiration was from 2003's russell crowe classic, master and commander?

it's a good one.

nothing to see here! move along, move along.

2007-05-22T11:38:00.000-05:00

dear dad,
stop googling the blawg.
there's nothing more than lewd references to blowjobs and crappy music jokes.
with love,
your daughter

i'm going to buy a unicorn because i want to say i've actually achieved something in my life

2007-05-19T10:59:00.000-05:00

"People who have everything else want to own a castle at least once in their lives," said Denis Burrus, a sales agent for de Rham Sotheby's International Realty who sells castles in Switzerland. "It shows that they've achieved something in their lives."

i hate the swiss.

"when bittersweet peaks"

2007-05-10T14:58:00.000-05:00

missouri is flooding.

hey! you! i want to be your friend! ditch your boyfriend and we'll cruise around the lake and watch harold and maude in my basement!

2007-05-09T21:53:00.000-05:00

thank you jody rosen of slate, for pointing out the overwhelming - and disturbing - theme of competition between women on that avril kid's latest album. i always have to turn off the ole picturebox when that one comes on, because while the music makes me want to bounce around the living room (yes, it does), i fucking hate shit that fosters that kind of division between women - especially when it's just to give some 17 year old douche dude a bj in the bathroom next to the gym.

writing feeds my narcissistic void

2007-05-08T10:34:00.000-05:00

i really wanted to say that i listened to No Shouts, No Calls on a rainy Friday afternoon as i rode the Amtrak to Chicago, curled up inside Verity's vocals, which would be not unlike curling up in an interactive modern art womb simulation. The reality is that i spent five late night/early morning hours (take your pick) listening to the album in Country Kitchen, the restaurant chain known for its signature you-can-feed-two-Midwestern-boys-or-twelve-"starving"-hipsters breakfast, The Barn Buster, and excessive use of the phrase "Pecan Praline."

while it was relatively easy to fall asleep after fourteen cups of coffee, it has been a might bit more difficult to get the heart rate back to 74 beats per minute.

i ain't that high

2007-05-03T11:07:00.000-05:00

6/12 - Call Me Lightning and the Hold Steady - Columbia, Missouri

if this summer were summer of 2005 i would have crapped my pants and excitedly emailed the 4 people i know who might sorta care.

so it's summer of 2007 and i did not crap my pants, but instead am inviting all in the coMO area and beyond to come to my house for some grillin' before the show. two of the roommates will be in germany and the other roommate, known to all as hucklefairy SPIN, will be in santa fe attending circus school, [sidenote: do you have people in santa fe that could have leads to either jobs or temp housing? [sidenote pt. ii: people take couchsurfing.com REAL SERIOUS, like i got school'd on etiquette and i was even sent to etiquette school when i was 11! i'm a fuckin' lady, y'know?]] so, point is: no worries as to what the roommates will think about people throwing boca burgers at each other and acting a mess! if we let out early enough we can just walk down to the show! the possibilities for PFFUPR7* are endless!

*Project Food Fight and Unplanned Rukus 2007

rollerskates and sailor suits

2007-05-01T13:10:00.000-05:00

what would beth ditto do? is a question i ask often of myself and others.

i'd like to extend a hearty "thanky" to mairead and ann for the word and the spreading of said word.

2007-04-27T18:28:00.000-05:00

fucking murderous cop to recieve a new trial.

"People say that you calm down eventually, but that makes me sad. Did you? Or do you still feel the craziness sometimes?"

2007-04-24T11:21:00.000-05:00

this interview is perfect, and i mean that in the sense that i don't think i have read a more perfect interview, and plus and besides, it made me cry.

Patti Smith: Oh, don't ever not be hopeful. I mean, no one should tell you that things aren't bad. Things are really bad. They're bad in our country. Our morale is down, our economic situation is bad, our health care situation is bad, what happened in New Orleans is terrible. There's what's going on in Iraq, what's going on with our soldiers, what's going on with our soldiers that returned. There are a lot of bad things everywhere, but also, simultaneously, there are always great things. There are beautiful things. There's new children being born, you know? The sky is beautiful. You could have a great idea and write this book that will say everything you've ever wanted to say. You have an imagination. That makes things hopeful. People sometimes criticize me for being an incurable optimist, but you know? I've seen a lot of bad stuff in my life. A lot of it. And I still feel really happy and alive and excited about stuff, and interested in new things.

Because you have to think of, like, if you were a captive on a little boat on the ocean, it's not always gonna be smooth. There's gonna be storms, there's gonna be horrible seas, there might be sharks in the water. You're gonna go through all kinds of shit. But you have to sail. And life is like that. It's like a ride on a roller coaster that's sometimes fun and sometimes really scary. It's like navigating a sea. And you can't expect it to be all happy and fun and great, because it's not gonna be.

Patti Smith: ...In 1979, I was like playing stadiums in Italy, and then I stopped doing that. I got married; I stopped everything because I loved my husband, and he wanted a family. We changed our life, lived a really simple life, and that was my priority. I was still an artist. I still studied and drew and wrote; it's just that the public didn't know about it. And I think that's another thing that people have to be aware of: this whole culture of celebrity. It's an unhealthy thing in a way, because it makes people think "if the public doesn't see you in a magazine, you don't exist." That's total bullshit. That's total consumerism. You have to feel good about yourself. You have to know who you are. The magazines can't tell you who you are.

labels for this post: armpit sucking, diamond nipple crowns, pepto-bismol

2007-04-23T22:12:00.000-05:00

music review:

nervous wreck, demo 2007

i was slipped this demo as i watched queers from out of town suck face in the seedy gay bar known for under the table handjobs and fist fights in the parking lot.

it was karaoke night and she told me she wanted to be famous after she screamed a cover of aerosmith's "amazing." while everyone else clapped, the bartenders response was to turn her microphone off.

when i got home the cd refused to play in my computer and now refuses to come out of my computer, thus rendering my computer 45% useless.

really, this is the best scenario for her, considering you'll have to actually contact nervouswreckisawesome@gmail.com to get the demo mailed to you or get some kind of access to mp3s or whatevs, and i won't have to tell you i hated it or loved it or thought it reminded me of being 14 or 17 or 22 or that it felt like sitting on my porch covered in spraypaint, smoking a cigarette.

maybe this means i'll become marginally famous by proxy.

2kewl2bstr8

2007-04-03T14:28:00.000-05:00

yesterday, all my planets were aligned. i went to work one of my last days at shitty restaurant and who should come in but the owner of columbia's "large" concert venue, the blue note! and who should get a free ticket to the neko case show but yours truly via owner of the blue note's generosity to a very sweet co-worker. and who should let me off my second shift to see said show but normally high strung boss!

all that + getting paid + matzo ball soup + almost all my favorite people at the show = fantastic start to april. to which i say: KUDOS, APRIL! KUDOS!

also, can i just say how much i love neko case, if for nothing else, her work ethic? it's a sick, sick thing, my admiration for a strong Protestant work ethic*.

*let me also note here, that the "strong Protestant work ethic" is inherantly fucked up and problematic, i just like that she tunes her guitar after every single time she sets it down, much like how i love ted leo for the Tour That Shan't Not End.

i'm a blunt gettin' smoked and i can't wake up

2007-03-30T14:26:00.000-05:00

i finally fuckin' did it.

i quit my shitty job at the restaurant.

granted, afterwards, i was so stoked and a bit delusional from extreme ballz-to-the-wallz-ness, that i went out and bought a lottery ticket, fully convinced that i was going to win - not the jackpot! that would be asking too much - but you know, between 10 and 20 thousand dollars. i had divided the money up in my head: pay off the new-to-me car, set aside money for a ten day trip to san francisco, give money to the brothers and start paying back the overly-generous rents for giving birth to me.

i checked the numbers FOUR TIMES before i realized i didn't win anything.

anyway, spring is here and everything is loaded with possibilities.

little girls. candy. adolescent sexuality. lots and lots of sugar. ingrained sizism. sugar.

2007-03-27T11:46:00.000-05:00

my shit truly does not stink

2007-03-25T11:43:00.000-05:00

did you know that if you eat magnolia blossoms, your shit will smell like flowers? i was pulling a deuce this morning and thought, my! what is that pleasant aroma? lo! it was my fecal matter!

salad for breakfast

2007-03-20T15:19:00.000-05:00

things i never want to do again:
1. talk to a record exec that uses the phrase "brother-man" 56 times in a two-minute period.
2. make instant macaroni and cheese with soap residue in the bowl

want a piece of my watermelon bubble yum?

2007-03-09T13:03:00.000-06:00

oh jean baudrillard, your rememberances are pretty hilarious, mentioning the matrix and "american confusion"...

"Although many Americans were puzzled by his views, Baudrillard was a tireless enthusiast for the United States — though he once called it "the only remaining primitive society."

major gay

2007-03-08T14:17:00.000-06:00

the gossip signed with sony's "gay" label "music with a twist" back in november and i am just now reeling over it.

why can't people name stuff that's supposed to be gay? why do they come up with the worst possible names? names that are dumb dumb dumb and also the names of pepsi products? after ~~socks with mandals~~ ~~the olive garden~~ ~~joe's crab shack~~ fashion bug/dress barn/contempo casual/talbot's, pepsi is one of the least gay things i can think of.

i'm gonna start my own gay label called "rainbowlicious."

i don't pay my parking tickets either

2007-03-08T12:48:00.000-06:00

seriously, why try? there are NO skeletons in the man's closet. give it a rest.

rsvp

2007-03-07T22:42:00.000-06:00

2007 learning/creative pact invitational accepted.

starting this month, til august, i'm going to make my way through everything james baldwin wrote from 1953 to 1973. including essays, poems, short stories, excluding reviews.

do you want to be part of the pact? it'll be so much fun. i want everyone to have huge learning experiences in 07. it's what this year is all about: exploding brains.

sweeter than all the bakery treats

2007-03-05T15:43:00.000-06:00

jerusalem and the starbaskets contains my absolute favorite people of columbia who are not my friends but rather people i see everywhere and have occasional chats with and are all around good'n'lovely kids. and musicians.

the woman with the accordian paused and smiled at me, and i remembered how much i loved a marching band when i was four years old

2007-03-04T19:41:00.000-06:00

wellsir, last night i went to the true/false concert and had a damn near religious experience with mucca pazza, which happens to be happening a lot lately. damn near religious experiences: mania, product of recent insomnia, acupuncture taken to combat recent insomnia or just an odd fluctuation in exposure to really fucking good art? unclear.

i spent half their set teetering down the stairs in my no she didn't! pencil skirt trying to figure out if it sounded more amazing in the balcony or on the floor. when i ended up on the floor, not because it sounded better, but because the 31 piece band was making its way out into the audience, i ended up rhythmically pounding a divider railing so hard that i got bruises on the palms of my hands.

earlier in the night, scream club said "bell hooks for president!" and part of me said "YES!" and the other part said "there is no way bell hooks would ever agree to a mess like that. are y'all putting me on?"

then they said their queer femme girlgang walked around with "razorblades in their hair," and "bricks in their purses."

i knew they were serious.

"homegrown" by bell hooks and amalia mesa-bains has exploded parts of my brain into new critical consciousness

2007-02-27T16:36:00.000-06:00

what should i go see at sxsw that i would 1. enjoy 2. be able to actually see and not stand in lines of belching douchebags?

all suggestions will be appreciated and reviewed by the logan-emily-bexxy committee of brisket.

i'm hot cause i'm fly. you ain't cause you're not. this is why i'm hot.

2007-02-23T11:21:00.000-06:00

earl greyhound only have 3449 myspace friends. coMO buzzkill snoozer locals, bald ego have 2485 friends. in myspace terms, earl greyhound are that one bartender that everyone just adores and the como band are that guy who sends creepy messages to everyone who checked the "female" box and even though you're like "wtf? why would anyone even approve him as a "friend"?" he has like 235 friends and that great bartender, who you tip extravagantly when you order a shirley temple, only has 300 friends.

what i'm saying is, the drummer broke four sets of drum sticks and the whole time i stood there and thought,"holy mother of jesus shit."

puttin' my eye out

2007-02-06T16:21:00.000-06:00

emily: http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/16634817.html
rocket scientist tried to kill a woman she considered her romantic rival with a BB gun
she wore diapers on the road to do it so she wouldn't have to stop

me: really? an astronaut thought she'd kill someone with a bb gun? not the brightest bulb, eh?

emily: apparently
murder isn't rocket science

what i did on sunday

2007-02-06T15:12:00.000-06:00

2007-02-06T11:46:00.000-06:00

"i think there's guilt inherent in being creative
for anyone who's serious about it."
- logan dick

phony pony

2007-01-25T13:07:00.000-06:00

after four days of being slightly weirded out with myself for having akon's 'i wanna love you' stuck in my head, music video included, i realized mere hours ago that the actual words were 'i wanna fuck you,' which completely changes the entire thing for me since it doesn't have that t-pain in luv with a stripper thing going on and therefore makes it less creepy yet more obnoxious.

totes sincerious

2007-01-16T12:43:00.000-06:00

i believe emily is the best of everyone on this american life all put together in one truly awesome person.